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Great scene from The Adjustment Bureau.

Here’s the problem: this isn’t even my tie.

This tie was selected for me by a group of specialists in Tenafly, New Jersey who chose it over 56 other ties we tested. In fact, our data suggested I have to stick to either a tie that is red or a tie that is blue. A yellow tie made it look as if I was taking my situation lightly and I may in fact pull my pants down again at any moment. A silver tie meant that I had forgotten my roots.

My shoes … you know, shiny shoes we associate with high-price lawyers and bankers. If you want to get a working man’s vote, you need to scuff up your shoes a little bit. But you can’t scuff them up so much that you alienate the lawyers and bankers ‘cause you need them to pay for the specialists back in Tenafly.

So what is the proper scuffing amount? You know, we actually paid a consultant seventy-three hundred dollars — was it seventy-three hundred, Charlie? Seventy-three hundred dollars for a consultant to tell us that this is the perfect amount of scuffing.

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